About

I have decided after reading about diets, watching shows that touch me emotionally, and hearing what a ’nice guy’ I am, that I am in denial!  I am a FAT ASS.  At this point, I have high blood pressure and insulin resistance (borderline diabetic so I am told), and most of the time feel like I am going to Blow Up!  I have allowed myself to become complacent with my weight and looks.  I have come to the final conclusion unless I do something drastic, I will continue to be complacent. 

So what is drastic?  I have for years come up with plans that I ‘know’ will work.  I get on a program and it lasts for about a month or so, and then I will slowly let it go.  I will be feeling like a million bucks and then come up with a reason, some justification and the ‘latest and greatest’ will die off.  So thinking about what I heard on the last episode of The Biggest Loser, publicly acknowledging my size seems like it would be very drastic.  Call it a selfish motivation!  Call it crazy!  Somehow I think that if I chronicle my journey publicly, it will be the motivator I need.  I know that to screw with myself mentally, putting this all out here on the Internet will be the biggest motivator.  So if you are reading this, you may be the answer or comment that I need -be it right now, or sometime during my journey.

Today is December 19, 2009.  Yesterday I weighed in at 316 pounds.  My goal is 215 pounds.  What I weighed when I was 18 years old.  I have been lighter, much lighter (170 pounds) at my current height, 6′ 4″, however, 215 seems like a good, healthy weight for me.  I have no idea how long this will take.  I am not looking to create Rome in a day, I have attempted that in the past, only to fail.  Fail, I am eradicating that word from my vocabulary today.  There is no more failure here, only future.